Kek Will Not Stand

“Godfrey launched into some sort of incantation that I couldn’t understand, swirling the wand in the air as he intoned what sounded like nonsense words. ‘You do know that ‘destroying me’ never ends well, right?’ I pointed out. He ignored me, lost in his conjuration – or whatever it was supposed to be.

“Alan glanced at me dubiously. ‘He’s waving a stick at us.’

“‘I think it’s supposed to be a magical stick,’ I pointed out weakly.

“‘There!’ proclaimed Godfrey, lowering the wand. ‘Her power is entirely neutralized. Now get her!’ Perhaps the funniest thing about the Sons of Kek was that once they set up their memes, their plan always seemed to simply consist of ‘Get Her!’ I wondered if any of them had seen the original Ghostbusters film.

“The six Sons holding the memes remained in place, while the other six charged at us. Tim and Alan adopted karate stances as they moved in, trying to position themselves to defend me. Each landed a solid punch on the first Son to reach them, knocking two of the six attackers to the ground. Two more engaged me directly. As they reached me I could feel the pendant practically burning against my skin.

“I decided to try something I had only seen in the movies. I punched with both hands at once. Each of my fists collided with the face of an attacker, and down they went in a heap. Godfrey’s eyes widened as he witnessed the move. ‘But… but…’ he sputtered. ‘That’s not possible!’ He started chanting again, this time violently rending the air with the eclipse wand. I still felt nothing besides the heat of the pendant.

“Tim and Alan were exchanging blows and blocks with the last two attackers as I stepped out from between them and walked a few paces away. ‘I’m over here!’ I called. As the last two Sons disengaged and turned to strike me, I repeated the double-punch move. Both dropped hard on the ground.”

Trump Card – it’s a terrific novel, I guarantee it. Click here to find out more… #TrumpCard

Trump Card. Yes, Trump Card!


So it’s finally here. This project has been consuming my life for the last several months. But I’m finally done. I have a whole box of copies sitting in my living room, and they look great.

Trump Card is my satirical take on the popular Young Adult Dystopia genre based on current events, particularly the Donald Trump administration. It tells the story of Sophia Sanders, a high school girl from New York with an unusual birthday. When a mysterious pendant transforms her into a “winner,” she becomes a contestant on the reality television series Junior Apprentice in order to oppose the Trump agenda.

While the nation looks on, Sophia and her team compete to win the coveted Junior Apprentice title. A brutal and mysterious brotherhood along with its enigmatic leader stands against her, hell-bent on destroying her chances of bringing the Resistance to life. Sometimes, the only thing a girl can depend on is magick – and a little luck.

Trump Card is available in print, Kindle, and ebook editions. The print version is also available from Amazon and other retailers, but I get the best royalty percentage if you order directly from the CreateSpace link there. If you’re a fan of dystopian fiction, or just find Donald Trump amusing in a horrifying sort of way, check it out!

Books and Beer – Save the Date!

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This Sunday, August 6th, is the Books and Beer Pop-up Bookstore event at BlackStack Brewing, 755 Prior Avenue in Saint Paul. The event runs from 1 to 6 PM, and we’ll be holding a drawing for a free growler of beer.

Hope to see you there!

Pathless Void Print Edition Now Available

pathless_void_cover_smallSo I finally figured out how to get through the whole CreateSpace process, and the print edition of my novella The Pathless Void is now available. For those of you who were asking about a print version, this is it. From the proof it turned out quite nice, and I think you will enjoy it.

I also did some additional edits as I was putting together the print edition, and the ebook versions on Smashwords and Kindle now reflect those changes as well. I think Kindles update automatically, but I don’t have one so I’m not sure. If you bought the ebook already and need to do something to refresh it with the updated version, now would be the time for that.

The print edition should be available on Amazon in a couple of days here along with the ebook, but if you really want to support my writing you should buy it directly from the CreateSpace link above. That gives me the best royalty percentage, since if I sell through Amazon they get a cut of the profits as well.

The Show Must Go On

promo_3_junior_apprentice“President Trump rearranged the pad of paper and glass of water on the table in front of him, and then leaned in with his best Celebrity Apprentice demeanor. I could tell right away that he liked being back in the chair. ‘Business is all about opportunity. Opportunity and success. And by success, I mean winning. A successful business has to win every time, against great, great adversity. Over the course of the last eight weeks you’ve done just that. Some weeks your team won, other weeks your team lost, but you all are still here. Still right here, on the show, still competing.

“‘Now it all gets very, very real. Two of you will be fired before the final four, and in the final four the whole show changes. The work, so much work, that you’ve all done has been great, phenomenal. But only the real winners will survive from this point forward. Only the real winners. That’s what we’re here to find out. Who the real winners are, and what their opportunities will be. Your challenge this week is to take all the work you’ve done and present a pitch to me for your product. Think of me as an investor trying to decide between the two, because, you know, I am, and convince me to buy in.’”

Coming Soon. Watch this space for details…

More Sorcery!

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“Two of the other robed figures unfurled a large piece of fabric. It looked like a banner bearing the usual Pepe the Frog image and a bunch of nonsensical painted symbols. As they ran towards me, I saw that the banner was in fact a large blanket. My mind flashed on where I was standing. I was near the edge of the subway platform.

“Ordinarily, I would have worried about falling off. Or, for that matter, being pushed. But I had the pendant. So, I was more worried about answering questions for the police after the attack went wrong. Several of the Sons held weapons. I could see two baseball bats and a piece of pipe. It appeared their plan was to wrap me in the ‘containment structure’ and strike. I say ‘appeared’ because it failed miserably.

“As the two men with the blanket reached me, I felt a surge of power from the pendant and an urge to drop to the ground. The blanket missed me entirely. The momentum carried my attackers past me and right off the edge of the platform. I glanced down and saw them staggering to their feet, still stunned by the fall. The ‘containment structure’ lay across the third rail and was starting to catch fire.”

Coming Soon. Watch this space for details…

Bind Her Foul Sorcery!

promo_2_ninja_bitch_jpg“The man with the sign kept it trained on me, while the other four rushed forwards, fists swinging. I stepped to the side as the first man reached me. He tripped over his long robe as he advanced, falling flat on his face. The second man tripped over him, piling on top of the first, on the hard concrete walkway. The two other men managed to step to either side of their tangled brethren. One attacked from the left and the other from the right, and I felt an irresistible urge to duck. Both fists passed just over my head, each connecting with the face of the man opposite. They both fell back, stunned, and landed in the grass to either side of the trail. All four attackers now lay on the ground, moaning. Meanwhile, the man with the meme folded up his Pepe the Frog poster and ran for it. Kek had lost the day.”

Coming Soon. Watch this space for details…