Kek Will Not Stand

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Godfrey launched into some sort of incantation that I couldn’t understand, swirling the wand in the air as he intoned what sounded like nonsense words. “You do know that ‘destroying me’ never ends well, right?” I pointed out. He ignored me, lost in his conjuration – or whatever it was supposed to be.

Alan glanced at me dubiously. “He’s waving a stick at us.”

“I think it’s supposed to be a magical stick,” I pointed out weakly.

“There!” proclaimed Godfrey, lowering the wand. “Her power is entirely neutralized. Now get her!” Perhaps the funniest thing about the Sons of Kek was that once they set up their memes, their plan always seemed to simply consist of ‘Get Her!’ I wondered if any of them had seen the original Ghostbusters film.

The six Sons holding the memes remained in place, while the other six charged at us. Tim and Alan adopted karate stances as they moved in, trying to position themselves to defend me. Each landed a solid punch on the first Son to reach them, knocking two of the six attackers to the ground. Two more engaged me directly. As they reached me I could feel the pendant practically burning against my skin.

I decided to try something I had only seen in the movies. I punched with both hands at once. Each of my fists collided with the face of an attacker, and down they went in a heap. Godfrey’s eyes widened as he witnessed the move. ‘But… but…’ he sputtered. ‘That’s not possible!’ He started chanting again, this time violently rending the air with the eclipse wand. I still felt nothing besides the heat of the pendant.

Tim and Alan were exchanging blows and blocks with the last two attackers as I stepped out from between them and walked a few paces away. “I’m over here!” I called. As the last two Sons disengaged and turned to strike me, I repeated the double-punch move. Both dropped hard on the ground.

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